Fall approaches

Change has a funny way of happening faster than you thought it ever would. Seems like the last three weeks have gone by without a chance for us to even catch our breath; the whole year has been like a whirlwind. Now we are sitting here three weeks out, our little precious babies still in the NICU, Avery getting ready for preschool, me getting ready to quit my job, Holly heading back to hers soon, and we are not feeling much ready.

Every day we just pray harder for the Lord to move, for Him to do something amazing and bring our babies home. It seems so senseless to have them be so far away, we can’t take them and hold them and feed them whenever we want. Forced to play the role of NICU parents, it is more difficult than you can imagine. Each night we lay awake, sleep is allusive.

September approaches and the season of fall is at hand. Last year around this time we were mourning the loss of our little one who passed in an ectopic pregnancy. Her name was to be Raina and it still hurts deeply that only the two of us even remember. And after so many attempts to have siblings for Miss Avery, we finally have a successful set of new babies and here we have them….but no wait we can’t actually take them home. Seems kind of cruel really…. Somehow in some way there is a reason.

Being a stay at home dad will be a huge adventure, and it does seems like the best choice to be made right now. But its scary, of course and I am nervous about the whole process. But deep down every day I am going to hate myself for not being smart enough to have a better job so the roles could be reversed. And I do tire of everyone who throws it in my face. If I could get a job which paid better I would be doing it by now. But no, I went to Bible school for five years and have nothing to stand on in the job market right now. So other than a desire to work in ministry…. I am going to be a great stay at home father. Just hopefully I can get some other work as well to make up for it.

September will prove to be a busy month then, with Avery starting her new school, my 29th birthday, and several more trips back and forth to the hospital. These have to make for some of the most difficult days in our lives right now, but the Lord is faithful and will see us through. We can trust Him and we will trust Him regardless. He has a plan, and we know He will guide us every step of the way.

Psalm 63:6-11

When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me. But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth. They shall fall by the sword; They shall be a portion for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God; Everyone who swears by Him shall glory; But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.
Psalm 63:6-11

David lay awake in the middle of the night full of anxiety and thoughts overpowering his sleep. So many enemies trying to bait him and attack him, they all made for a large prayer request list. David had fought with lions and bears who would try attacking his sheep, but not even those could have prepared him for the wickedness of men around his own throne.

In those moments of darkness where the moon was shining into the mouth of whatever cave he was hiding, then He would find the Lord. Darkness has a way of causing our eyes to grow to adapt to whatever light they can find. Any source of light will help us slowly gain vision. In the darkest times we find out need for light overwhelms even the desire to eat.

Darkness will never overwhelm the light of the Lord God. His truth will always prevail and He will always be victorious in our circumstances. He is willing to break us, to send us through difficulty in order to reshape and remold us into the image He desires. David knew the Lord is righteous in all His work. Darkness may be necessary for us to see Him more clearly, and in the end His light is all we ever needed.

Grams and ounces

Nineteen days in the NICU and counting. It is already nineteen too many but we continue to push ahead realizing this is all but a temporary time. Our precious babies grow by the gram and ounce every day. In order to keep track of the proper conversions I downloaded an I-phone App so I know how many grams they have to the ounce and pound. We wait with anticipation every day to see how much they will gain.

Little Kenny likes to chew on his fingers when he is hungry, which is pretty much all the time he is awake. My sweet little boy… I cherish him so much. I always wondered what it would be like to have a son and what kind of things I would be able to do with him. Fishing, sports play, you name it. There are a lot of things me and Erin and Avery can do together, but father and sons have their own bond. I lean heavily on my relationship with my own dad as an example of what is ahead.

My dad has always been the greatest hero in my life. He is a great example to me on how not only to be a great father, but also to be a great husband. Little Kenneth’s middle name is Gregory, named after my dad. My only heartbreak is I live so far away from both my parents and it is going to be hard to not be closer when I need advice. Precious Erin is growing little by little as well. She may not be picking up quick as her brother, but she is getting there. She is a wild little child already, just like her big sister. Hard to believe she is almost three weeks old, but the time goes too fast at the same time. Every day we wait and wait hoping and trusting the Lord will take care of her and Kenneth. I know He will and does.Meanwhile the NICU is a pretty lonely place full of so many little babies in need of love and tender care. The nurses do a great job but it’s hard when there are not enough people out there to love the little ones. We are pretty much living at the hospital for now, as it is our home till our babies are out of there. Homes are not buildings of wood and concrete, but of hearts welded together with love.

Psalm 63:1-5

Our precious twins are now two weeks old, and it doesn't seem like that much time has passed already. Little Kenneth is still growing strong and probably has a couple more weeks before he will get home. Erin on the other hand is still not gaining on the food and the doctors are concerned. She was sick from the beginning even in the womb it seems. Please pray as we trust them to find the help she needs. My little girl is going to have a long struggle ahead. Thank you for those prayers.
-David
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A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. Psalm 63:1-5

David wandered in the wilderness for a great deal of time during his life, between running from King Saul and later from his own family. We hear the term wilderness so much we forget what kind of bareness such a place would be like. David was in the midst of the hot sands, rocks, surrounded by death and extreme conditions. David knew fully what it felt like to be thirsty in a dry land.

“My God,” is the difference between relationship and religion. David did not just have an abstract knowledge of the Most High, God was not just a theory or idea or hope. In the barren wilderness God was all David had to cling too. His God was His very source of strength in the greatest of troubles. We see many times throughout the Psalms, David struggled with his thoughts and feelings but always clung to the trust He has in His Savior.

Our soul will find satisfaction in nothing else other than the life giving truth of the Lord. Even when life is at its darkest hours, God is the light. He does not expect us to slap on a happy face and go our merry way with joy. He does expect us to confront Him with our darkest fears so He can be the one to take them away. Commit your praise and lips to the Lord, and He will be the water you seek in the wilderness of this life.

Our little twins

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:6-8

If it were not for the Lord and the strength He gives; none of us would be able to stand. This world is just too cruel, to harsh, to wicked to maintain any form of life. Thanks be to the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit we can have a renewed strength every morning to continue and press ahead. After all there are so many wonderful blessings.

Here I am in the midst of my Word of Truth, strudying through Psalms. The messags coming out of these chapters are some of the most comforting and powerful. King David was a mighty man of God. But it was never the wars he won which made him a warrior. (Okay i know that sounds like something Yoda says in Star Wars but its still true.) Anyway the man David was a man after the heart of God. He was genuine in His affections for the Lord. He was honest and real. He has been my favorite Bible hero and of course my namesake. While we deal with the dark clouds overhead as we wait for our babies to come home, I can put my heart into these Scriptures and know Jesus is there with them.

Weeks it will be though we do not know how many. Erin was at 3'2 and Kenneth 4'7 last we checked. So we just have to pray they keep gaining and pushing ahead. Little Avery can't wait to help mother her little siblings. She is going to be so much help. Sure its scary thinking about what is ahead, but great is our excitment and weak is our patience. Still the Lord is good. He is watching over them and we will continue to trust in Him. Best is yet to come.

Baby story in Holly's words

Thank you everyone for the congrats we are over the moon with our little blessings, they are just wonderful sorry it took so long to post. It has been a whirlwind since Monday when the twinkies arrived. The last couple weeks have been hard... Ive had a lot of contractions and they have been trying to stop it so we could make it a little further.On Sunday night I started bleeding a little so I knew it was going to be soon, the contractions kept getting closer together. Monday morning I went straight to the doctor at 7am and I was dilated to 2 and 70% effaced but contractions were still 10 min apart and the doctor told me to go home and lay around and see how it progressed, and by 10:30 they were about 5 to 6 min, so I called and he told me to go to the hospital and when I got there I was a 4 to a 5 dilated but they wanted to wait on the c-section as long as possible well throughout the day I just kept having contractions about the same time apart. By 10:00pm the bleeding picked up and when the nurse went to check me again, well... my water broke during the exam and it was end game but I was a 6 dilated. She called the doctor and he came right over but we had to wait for the anesthesiologist (sp?) b/c he was already in another C-Section, by 11:20pm when he came in my contractions were about 30 seconds apart and I was dilated to a 10 and needed to push so bad while I was in the OR waiting, no drugs is not the way I wanted to go, lol. The doctor was quick about the C-Section and Kenneth- 4lbs 3oz was born at 11:33pm and Erin- 3lbs 4oz was born at 11:34pm on 08/09/10 The neonatologists were there and ready to assess the situation they quickly wrapped them up, held them up to me for literally 1 second and placed them in the incubator and ran them up to the NICU. Originally they were on the C-Pap for oxygen but then went to high flow nose canulas (sp?) but as of this morning they both are off oxygen completely and on room air!! Erin has been doing really good overall except her feedings have been struggling and she is at 3lbs 1oz right now and Kenneth has been having a lot of Bradycardias where his heart rate drops but today they have slowed down and he weights 4lbs 3oz today. I know we have a long way to go, original estimate time coming home is mid September so we just wait and see since I know we will have ups and downs along this bumpy NICU road. Trying to stay positive but its been hard this week.I just wanted to let everyone know how thankful I am for the prayers

Faith in the night seasons

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

When one must face difficultlies in life, and it seems like darkness is closing in, we are all to aware of our evergrowing dependence on God for strength. He is always our refuge, He is always our shelter. The Word is where we look for strength and hope in our time of need. Every day we gain more and more faith as we trust in Him.

Our precious babies continue to grow and strengthen daily, it seems hour by hour they change. Thursday the doctors decided rather too soon I feel, Holly was ready to go home. So now we begin the travel between the babies and our house which is not going to easy. We do not know how long they will be there, but we know they are getting what they need right now. Somehow the Lord knows what we need to, and for one thing it is to depend on Him with our greater need.
Kenneth is having a lot of heart issues where the rate drops suddenly then goes back up. His weight is hanging near the low 4 pound mark. Erin is eating a lot better now than in the beginning, she is a little fighter for sure. She likes to look around and keep up to date on what is going on. 3 pounds and 3 ounces last night was her weight.

Avery is being Avery as usual, much more wild these days. I have not figured out if is due to her being out of daycare or not. I hope she adjusts to being a stay at home child once the babies do get back home. We have known for a long time now the babies are going to need a lot of attention, our precious little ones.

It is hard on mommy and daddy to see them so small and in the NICU. We pray every day for their stength and growth and know this is just a season we must pass through. It may seem dark and cold, we will be weak and weary, but the Lord is good and will be with us to see us through to the next stage. So for now we press ahead each new day back and forth waiting for our precious babies to be well enough to come home.

Birth story

Psalms 22:10 I have been dependent on you since birth; from the time I came out of my mother's womb you have been my God

Monday August 9th Holly was driven to the hospital by her best friend Lindsey, as she was having a lot of contractions and pain. She arrived and got checked in for a long afternoon and evening of waiting and praying for our little ones. At lunch time i left work and rushed to the hospital to see my darling wife and look forward to the babies finally joining us.

A long afternoon into the evening went by. Plenty of visits from a few family and friends. Holly and the babies were approaching the time. Not evening a sign of the doctor. Patience. Finally they checked on her progress at 10pm and discovered she was ready, babies water had broken. Erin and Kenneth were ready to come into the world... only problem is we are doing a c-section... hang in there babies.

My mother in law and I got into our surgery gowns ready to go in with Holly and see the little ones come. What an amazing experience it was going into the busy surgery room, crowded with nurses and doctors for both babies, my little ones came into the world. First Kenneth at 11:33 coming in at 4'3. Erin second coming in at 11:34 and 3'4. Both tiny little babies. Cut the cords and ready for action. Babies went to the NICU for tender love and care. With all the rush we tried to get in and see them all at once as much as we could. Aunt Nicole, Aunt Beth, Pam, Holly's step brother Richard was even there visiting his own relatives on another floor. Crazy night. Erin and Kenneth have their own little room.

A very tired mommy and daddy went down to sleep in recovery. Precious Avery was with Aunt Lindsey and her kids so that was a blessing too. She did get to see them and wants so badly to hold them. None of us got too much sleep. Our little ones will be in the NICU for quite a while as they get stronger. Baby Erin Nicole needs to develop more on her eating, which is normal and expected. Baby Kenneth is doing well with his own food. So we can already see their little personalities as well. Most precious and adorable twins! To think their mommy and her twin Nicole were born at this hospital almost 29 years ago.

We do get to touch our little ones which is a blessing. Erin was the first one to poop so shes already competing with her brother. She is also waving her feet around in the air looking for his head to kick we assume...kind of cute. I awaite the progress as they grow stronger and look forward to them arriving into our arms. What a blessing the Lord God has given us in this time.

32 weeks; and Ten Years

Ten years Holly and I have been dating, if one can count the last seven being married. I do count marriage as dating because we should never stop going after the girl we love. We have come this far and it has been a wonderful experinece. Sure there are memories both good and bad but in the end the Lord has done so much to bless us.

Holly is at 32 weeks now. She spent a couple more days at the hospital this past week and I know the hour is soon when we will have these twins. Kind of feels like it should be anyway, they have spent enough time baking as they call the process. Don't know what will come but the Lord does and He is in control of all things. So we push on and look forward to what is ahead of us.

Week 31 and the melting summer heat

No suprise the pool water is about hot enough to cook an egg. In the midst of the summer heat and rising tempatures we enter the 31st week of pregnancy. The adventure has not been without its trials though as we did have a hospital stay this past week. At some point wednesday morning there was enough cramping and contractions to get us to the hospital to be checked. Stayed the night in Labor and Delivery watching the babies heart rates. Was pretty fun to hear the little ones moving around and all. Enjoyed the rooms bathtub though, the chair i slept in needed some help however.

Today is July 31st and the beginning of the 31st week of pregancy. At this point we are just counting each day as a blessing as every day is a day of growth for the little ones. They need to keep in mommy so they can build all the necessary body fat and strength to enter the world. God knows, and has His hand in their lives. He is in full control as crazy as it feels right now.

August will be here soon and its going to be a hot month to end the summer. I know how fast time goes, and soon enough the babies will be here. I just pray they do not come too early so they wont have to stay in the hospital too long. Praise the Lord for both little Erin and Kenneth. We are blessed and excited. A tad nervous too. Avery will be a load of help though with the little ones, she is going to make a great big sister. We are all home now and hopefully wont return to the hospital till we have to! We wait anxiously for the moment, but know there is much to do before they arrive.

Overwelming flow of life

Here we are at the beginning of 29 weeks now in the pregancy with our adorable little twins. Seems like they could really be here at any moment. The doctor said he hopes to have them by labor day, if they can stay in there for another few weeks! Seems like that will be here before we know it, then our entire lives will be turned upside down.

My dad and sister Diane drove here from California last Tuesday, and are staying till Wednesday. So its been a tremendous time spending with them, and enjoying some of my family from Cali. They are not too fond of the heat though, neither have i ever been but you do get used to it after a while. Along with them came several bags full of baby clothes my other sister Laurie was done with using for her twin boys. So the last couple days have been spent going through clothes both those and Avery's old ones. We have them divided up now by age groups and put aside ready to go.

Avery loves having her Aunt Diane here. It is her favoraite time of year when she gets to see Diane. She has a pool time buddy now too which is great, when the pool is cool anyway. Keeping it cool in the Oklahoma weather can be a challendge. Avery is ready for her baby brother and sister to be here, im sure she is impatient as every. She has shown a lot of good practice on her little cousin Emery though. She will be ready, its just important she knows mommy and daddy cannot do this without her. And she will need to be our little helper!

Always makes me a little homesick for California when i see family. Somewhere along the line i would like to move back closer to the west coast. But they are talking about moving up to Orgeon possibly after 5 years, so we might just wait. No sense in moving twice. Might give us some time to get the little ones grown a little more. Avery will be almost ten! Yikes. The Lord knows, He has us here for His reasons and we can trust Him. Praise be to the Lord who brings each new day of grace to us. Ever flowing with His love.

Fire Works!

Was a wonderful Fourth of July celebrationwe had this weekend. Seems like the whole time went too fast though. Of course we had way to many fireworks than we really need, but every bit of them was fun. Next year our little ones will be so small, they might not like them as much. Avery is at the age where keeping her away from the area while setting them off is hard enough. But thats what sparklers, snaps, and poppers are for.

We had a cook out and friends for Church over. All in all a great night of fireworks and fun. Now today is another day off, and its pretty much just a lazy day. Stil so much to do as we prepare for our little babies.

Hey those things come with diaper bags honey

Anyone who knows me is going to know I love my little niece Madison like crazy, and my newest little niece is also growing on me as well, her name is Emery. Madison is getting so much older so quick these days, but since she was born in 99' i have known her pretty much her entire life. Emery was just born last Feb so shes pretty fresh and also very much a infant still. Infants who come with diaper bags, most of the time.

Yesterday was the first time we have been asked to pick little Emey up a daycare, which of course we do not mind doing. We have picked Madison up many times when she was little, and Avery gets picked up by grandma aka mimi, so we were willing to go for it. Emery is the daugther of Elizabeth, Pam's youngest daugther, and Holly's sister. So Uncle Dave went to get the baby and they did not give a diaper bag to send home with her. Emery gave me a huge smile when she saw me, she just knows her Uncle David loves her. So when i got home of course Holly took a look at the baby and smiled, then at me and said, "hey honey where is the diaper bag. These things come with diaper bags?" Yeah well they didnt give me one so i had to head back. Hard to imagine i would forget such a thing. But you know what, i have a lot in store of me with twins coming. Much to prepare for ahead.

Fireworks were purchased last night for a fun display time this evening in our yard, providing it quicks raining soon. Otherwise we will still have some fun. I am looking foward mostly to my sister and dad coming out to visit.

We will need two of pretty much everything with twins. One diaper bag will do, but its going to be a good little backpack system to carry along on our outings. Otherwise two cribs which we just bought. And we still need several things to do along with them for the babies. Someone gave us a nice diaper bag as a gift so that was awesome.

27th week has begun

Happy Independence Day as it really should be, its not really the fourth after all. But since the whole thing was finailized on the 4th, we will celebrate on Sunday along with everyone else. This whole year has been kind of a hit and miss with the holiday's. Seeing as how Holly's pregancy began before Valentines day. She was barely out of the hospital for a day before Easter, and everthing else has been kind of slow. But that is the case with bed rest, you have to be careful and take it easy.

Now we are moving into the 27th week of pregancy with our little twin twinkies. Hard to believe its really July! Though with the heat outside i can believe it more, reminds me i need to go clean the pool. Holly and her twin sister were born at 27 weeks, i just hope these two do not follow into that pattern. We want healthy babies as everyone does. Though no matter what the Lord has His hand in their lives and is watching over all little babies always.

We had a ultrasound appointment today and disovered one is behind the other, and also has his little head a little down. So hopefully they hang in there for another month. Still just keeping the bed rest going. As it is for now, going to enjoy the weekend, maybe shoot off some fireworks, and have some good family time.

No question i believe in the goodness of the Lord in difficult times. Even saying it as 'difficult' does not always fit the mood. Everything happening with Jon and Jessica's little baby girl is only a strong reminder of our miracle giving God and how amazing He is! He is our healer, our helper, our counsel. The Holy Spirit has given them so much wisdom and strength through all of these things. It also reminds me of our dark days when our own little one was in the NICU. No parent should ever have to deal with such pain, and yet we all need to know the closeness of the Lord which comes from those experiences. I am so thankful little Rylee is in the hands of the Lord, and will be miracle baby through all.

We finished putting up both cribs last night for the twins. Now the nursey is even closer, but still has much work to be done before i begin posting pictures too much. This old computer is having issues with carrying over pics and memory as well. Hopefully all things come together soon, as we will have two little newborns here soon. There is yet another miracle ready to come. I wonder if people said the same thing when Jesus was heading into a town. Here comes a miracle! Waiting is hard, but knowing there is something great to wait for is awesome!

June will be finished up today and July begins. From one month to another. We have so much to do this next month. But right now its good to remember to breath, take each moment and enjoy everything God has to offer in the day. To often the small things are taken for granite. Watching the precious little life struggle is a reminder to keep all things sacred. God has given us the moment, and in this moment we must live.

Week 26 draws closer and I can tell both of us are eager as ever. Seems like it has been a lot longer than it really has. Funny how that works. The first

several weeks were the hardest of all. Than we moved into a short quiet time which was not so much quiet, but you know what bed rest feels like. Now its just a lot of babies making mommy ready. Both of the little ones like to move around in the womb when awake. Its one thing to see them kicking, and a whole other to feel them. Down right amazing. Avery likes to feel them too. They are her little babies as she says, she loves them and cannot wait to see them.

We took Avery to see Toy Story 3 last weekend, and it went pretty well. Except for the 3-d glasses not being all that exciting, the movie was very well done. Avery sat through the whole thing. We dont usually take her to movies as sitting through them can be difficult for her age. But she enjoyed.

It has been a hard, miserable week for my best friend Jon and his wife Jessica. Last week they had their second little girl. Her name is Rylee Ann. She has been in the NICU since birth with severe problems to her lungs and vitals. Much prayer is going to them now. Hard to see my friends going through this without being closer to lend all the hands i can. But I will pray and do so pray. I know little Rylee will pull through, the Lord will be with her. He is in control, just as He was with Avery when she was in the NICU too. I do pray the twins stay put till late Aug or even Sept to be safer for them. Just going to keep holding on to all the faith we have.

Standing in my living room are two large boxes. They stand as a token of realization of what is coming my way. Its not as if the last 25 weeks have not been enough of a wake up call. We picked out the kind of crib we wanted a few weeks ago. And now both crib boxes are standing in the middle of the room waiting to be assembled. Waiting for the little babies who are growing inside of mommy. We just have to hang in there a few more months and hope they will be here in the middle of August or around about. Still two cribs. Two babies! Yeah it just hit me when i saw double. This is going to be amazing and crazy.

In the midst of all the excitment and anxious preparations for the babies, there is news of concern from California. Not just concern but critical condition. Jon, my best friend, and his wife Jessica had their little one last week. Little Rylee Ann was rushed to Loma Linda NICU upon arrival as her tiny body is not responding to life outside the womb. She is still in critical condition. We are praying hard for her little life. Its so hard to see all of this happening to my best friend miles away. The Lord is faithful and the Lord is good, and I know He has His hands on their lives. Nothing can happen without His will or allowance. So i pray glory will come from this and she will recover quickly. I shall report more soon.

Father's Day is here once again! Does make me wish i could be in California spending some time with my dad. But I wont be too sad since i just saw him last weekend and am going to see him in three weeks along with Diane. It should be a good day, I have my lovely wife, my darling Avery, and of course the twins who are kicking up a storm. We look forward to another two months and they should be here in August.

Last monday we celebrated seven years of marriage. So many good memories as we look past the years. God has brought us through so much, and He will continue to bring us through even more. I am excited about the future ahead of us as we prepare for the twins arrival. So amazing just thinking of having more little ones here. Avery will make for a busy big sister. Not sure I am ready for sibling choas just yet.

My high school reunion last week went great, it was a treat to see some old friends and teachers. Ten years doesn't seem like it went by, but truly it has. Now we look to the next ten and onward to see what will be. God knows, and He is good. He has the plans for me all together perfect. He knows what area of ministry i should have and what i will be doing. All my prayers answered and unanswered are filtered through His hands. I have to do what is best for my family first, as they are my first ministry.

As head of the house hold my first duties are to keeping the Word of God moving through my family. I do need to do a better job with this and will be working on it. When the babies get here its going to be very busy around here, I will have my hands full. But I am very much looking forward to all.

So far only two things are missing from my trip to California, those would be my lovely wife and daugther. Of course i should add the little twins in there as well, but they go where Holly goes at this point. Being 24 weeks along she just could not fly. As for Avery plane fare is too much to be able to come just for this short while. When we do come next its going to be all of us.

California is just like i remember, the air crisp and the traffic crazy. Do so enjoy the In-N-Out though among other things. Its good to be here, happy but sad since my girls are not with me to enjoy. I did enjoy meeting my nephews though. Nathan and Caleb, twins born to my sister Laurie last January. They are adorable and getting lots of pictures from their Uncle David. They are loaning their strollers, car seats, and a suitcase full of clothes to our twins. So thankful for my sister giving those to us. Going to make it so much easier.

We are still working on preparing for baby arrival and feels like there is still so much to get done. I have barely had time to work on much though. I need to get things cleared out and make room and ready for new babies. Not going to worry about it right this moment though. I am in CA, i am enjoying my parents house and sisters.

My 10 year high school reunion is today! Really hard to believe it has been this long already. I have been working on scanning some old pictures, looking through. Reminding myself with each memory how the Lord was holding me through and keeping me in waiting for my future bride. SO glad I waited like I did for her. There were plenty of girls i had crushes on here and there throughout the years, but the Lord knew better after all. He prepared me for my Holly, I love my girl of 7 years marriage now. Its actually been 10 years this August when i asked her out to date.

Meanwhile it is quite early, though about the normal time for me to wake up anyway. Going to need to see if i can either get back to sleep or busy myself with some study time. Will enjoy the rest of my trip and be ready to see my girls tommrow!

It is truly an uphill battle trying to get a toddler to sleep in her own room. Some days i am firm and clear, she needs to try going to bed in there. Other days i think, i am only going to have this baby girl so long before she doesnt want to have anything to do with me! Well i hope she always wants to have something to do with me. I know when the twins arrive its going to be crazy around here. Hard to believe its really been almost four years since we had Avery.

Glee has ended for the season, a final song to lead out the enjoyable year of programs around here. Now its summer time and we have room to enjoy the heat, the pool, and hopefully two months left of pregancy. Those babies just need to stay put for a while longer. Right now they are about 1 pound and 3 ounces a piece which is the normal range for just one baby in the womb, so they are above the twins ratio. Baby Kenny likes to sleep and suck his thumbr, while Erin kicks her brother in the head and smiles. Ah children.

As the summer months are now in full swing, I already wish it were fall. Though fall means diapers... going to happen soon enough. Trusting the Lord for all things.
"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things." (Ecclesiastes 11:5) Going to hang onto that truth with all the Lord has ahead. In Him we have strength and hope.

Summer has hit with a vengance, does anyone remember spring? I really do not know if there even was a spring time this year, I only know we have been hibernating for the last several months while the twins grow slowly and safetly in Holly. They are 23 weeks along now, seems like its gone fast but really still feels slow. We just hope for two more months of growth before they get here. Which is all the more reason to get up and start getting things done around here.

Our Masterbedroom has moved into our guest room, and we are making the master the new nursey. It makes more sense in location in the house and size for two cribs and all. Walls are painted but not much else is done yet, we just have so much still needing to get in prepartion for the babies.

Avery is excited about her baby brother and sister and cannot wait to hold them and feed them and um change them.... not sure on the last one. But she talks to Erin and Kenny all the time and gives them kisses. She is also ready to teach them how to swim, which she is still working on herself. We have the above ground pool up now so we can enjoy some water fun this summer. Good distraction away from the TLC programs. But aside from Cake Boss, Ice Road Truckers, and Say yes to the dress, is there anything else on in the summer. Cant wait for NCIS and Glee to return this fall!

Bed rest and staying at home all the time is rather boring...but we know the babies need mommy to rest and take care of them. My sis Diane and dad will be coming out in July sometime to visit so that will be great. Once the twins get here we will really have our hands full, still don't have a handle on what we will be doing with the little ones, but the Lord will provide. So as mid June approaches and our seven year anniversary, i just look forward to all the Lord is doing and going to do.

Avery got her tonsils taken out and some new ear tubes put in - last Tuesday. So she is recovering rather well from that experience. Good to get it done while she is young, we know they were a problem. I took the last two days off to help take care of her as well. Its hard when i am away, she misses me terribly. Have no idea how she will manage while I am in CA in June for my high school reunion. Hard to believe it has been 10 years since I graduated...

Another thing we managed to accomplish is the buying of some new used cars. I went out to Stillwater to get the Honda for Holly to drive. We bought a Toyota minivan last month which will be my new car to drive around. We needed a bigger car for the babies, one with more room to carry all of their stuff too. The Honda is a work car for Holly to commute with.... its a good car too. The Lord blessed us with both of these and we will use them to honor Him.

20 weeks pregant now. The twins are moving around when they choose. Avery got to feel Erin kicking which was pretty cool. She loves to talk to them and kiss them all the time. Its funny to hear her little voice. She tells them to behave and not hit each other and tickles the tummy. Too sweet. Carry on and carry on, just a few more months to go. We are excited to see them.

Family. It is a statement above my television set in the living room. Its a truth and reminder of the most important thing in my life. I live and love those who I call my family. And every moment of my life I continue to work toward making this world a better place for them all. Sometimes its difficult though, because the world is not an easy place to be. Sometimes things try to get in the way and do not go as planned. Things get turned upside down and go backwards and take side roads you never expected. Life is after all a very busy place.

So it is the middle of May, mothers day to be exact. Avery commented we do not have any decorations for Mothers day. I was not aware we needed any... but i guess we do. We are still anxious and trying to get things ready for the twins. Pretty much everything has yet to be done. Kind of hope things will just happen on their own, but if we do not act soon we wont have much time really. We did register today so that is a start. Now just got to clear out the room and make some space for the coming children. Hope Avery is ready for it all.

Avery loves watching her movies before she goes to sleep. Though sometimes its harder for her to sleep with them on, so i tell her she cant watch them on nights before she goes to school. Does not always work that way. Hopefully getting her tonsils out this week will help her sleep better. Hopefully i can sleep better too once this class is over and i am not worried about it so much. Not that school is not important, but it really does cause stress. And i am already getting behind on more important things. Family is my goal. Taking care of Holly and the kids is my main priority. So we continue on into the week ahead. Hopefully we can find a good deal on a new or used Honda for Holly to drive around.

I want to be all in. All into the Christian walk. Making things happen. I do not want to be a bench warmer. Maybe that is my biggest problem. Darn sports analogy. But still. Must keep on pressing forward. At work. In life. With the babies. I know we do not have a lot of room here, and i really do wish we had more, but we have to do what it takes to move ahead.

Home from the mountian top experience! And when i say experience i mean it really was. Wish i had taken my camera. The mountians of New Mexico are amazing, the whole conference, Men of Iron, was solid. So many men there giving themselves over to Jesus with all of their heart and soul. It was a great place to renew so many things we let off on the curb of our lives. I reflected a lot in my journal during the trip, since i did not have my home computer. It was amazing though. Been ten years since I graduated High school and took that commission to head off to Bible school and make something of my life for God. Ten years. So much has happened in ten years. Took the first few getting ready for marriage, then our first baby, and now we are in the waiting period for our little twins! This pregancy has been a lot harder then the first, we are all anxious as to what is ahead.

I sit at school right now breifly noting my blog as a quick update. Once again I am going to be taking a break from school as with the twins coming and everything else going on, it seems I am going to need to have all the free time I can get with my children. Not a bad reason. On the other side I also need to dedicate myself more to ministry... something i should have been doing more of for the last 10 years. No excuses, plenty others have been able. So now I push ahead and seek whatever the Lord has. I do know this, He has it all together and is ready.

I do not want to look at the past two years of school as a waste of time and money, its been good knowledge and will still look good on a resume someday. Perhaps i will return too, we will see. But i know my heart is in ministry, is in the Bible, is where i want to be. I want to be more involved in the Church.... so when i look down the road in ten years from now, i can smile even more to see what the Lord has done. I already do when i look back from here. He has done so much!

So now its into the summer time we go. Preparing for the next three months to pass so our twins will get here! Just want them healthy and ready. Looking for a new or used car for Holly to drive to work. Enjoying our new mini-van. Taking a lot in at a time. Trusting and waiting as we always are as parents . Looking forward to seeing what He wants us to do now.

Going on 17 weeks pregnant now, heading toward 18. Our lives are surrounded by all the various books on having babies, National Geographic shows on having twins, and advice left and right. Seems like we should already know most of this stuff, but looks like its been a long time in the last four years to forget. Babies are a lot of fun and a whole lot of work. For now mostly we are concentrating on eating as much as we can. And i do say we. I have lost of lot of weight from the first few months of this pregnancy. Its hard to eat when you are worried about your wife's health and the babies. Now we are in middle looking toward hopefully a healthy August delivery.

Avery is pretty wild as most three year olds are. She goes from being helpful to cranky too quickly. She does enjoy listening to the heartbeats of Erin and Kenny through the baby dopplar. Recently i have discovered more and more baby stuff is appearing from nowhere. Example is this tiny elehpant toy which liks to sing and talk. Not sure where he came from, but Avery used to have him in her crib when she was tiny. She would just sit there and roll the little ball which made it sing.

Not sure what the status of school is curently. Apprently my parents are unable to help me for this time. So maybe its God's way of saying its time for me to focus on something else. It has been for a while. I complain a lot about not having a door of opportunity into ministry. Well He has given me one. It is at Hope Chapel Foursquare. We have not attended there since Avery was born, or at least a few months after. The Pastor and I are good friends though and they need help with the Childrens ministry department. To deny myself helping, i would be denying God's calling me to it and would be a hyprocrite since its something i have asked Him for. So lets see how this goes.

At least this week will be short. After three days of work I am heading to a Men's retreat. A much needed gathering in New Mexico, to get away from the real life and enjoy some life. More on that later. I am being called to the bathroom where my darling Avery is needing some help.
Later...

Ultrasound is an awesome technology! I simply cannot get enough of enjoying my little ones on the screen, watching them move around and wave little hands. The doctor says we have a girl and boy, he is 90% sure on the boy. Either way they are heathly little ones. Each day moves closer and I continue to think about them and look forward to them getting here.

We have our hands full even now with Miss Avery. I took her out of daycare for now and family is taking turns watching her. Its a blessing to have some help. Holly will be on bed rest for a while. All of this is simply new stuff to deal with one moment at a time. The Word keeps me busy, and the Word gives me life in the midst of stress.

Easter weekend went really well, was a beautiful day for the party too. Our house played the role of host, and our newly fenced yard and deck were a good place for everyone. Avery loves the egg hunt, though its not so much a hunt as it is a clean up job really. Its not like the eggs get up and move around on their own. Hol got to come home Thursday evening too so thats even better, having my whole family home is what matters to me.

I look forward to the weeks ahead as we watch our little babies grow, or at least imagine how they are growing. Still hard to believe, but the closer it gets the more exciting. We know the Lord will provide for us as He has shown Himself faithful before. He will continue to be faithful. These are just times of testing.

Seems like Facebook and other things are our main source of expression these days. But i do need to find my neglected journal and update in there as well. I wont always have the computer logs to keep up with. It is nice to have things here, but still there is much to be said for private prayer life as well. As i read the Psalms there has been many topics as well as the one of trusting the Lord, and giving everything to Him. Its an attitude really as need to focus more and more on the One who is in control.

Taking Avery out of daycare feels like the right thing to do, at least for now. Not only will it help the burden but gives Avery a chance for more one on one attention too. Though she does miss playing with other little kids most of the week. We will have to see what we can do. Once the twins get here things are going to change a lot anyway. Daddy will be her daycare, and she will need to help me all she can to take care of our new little ones.

ITT is a good school, just wish it didnt cost so much. For that matter wish the economy was not so rough right now all around. I am thankful for my parents help in it, but sometimes I wonder why I am in this school and in this direction. I do love computers, and I like helping people, so maybe it does have a good purpose. Just hope when the time comes there is a job for me in the IT world. But we shouldnt worry.

Press forward and plan, but in the end give it all to the Lord. he has the ultimate end in mind, He knows what is to come. Praise Him and thank Him for everything. Most of all give our will and control over. I dont know how long the bed rest is going to be, I do not know when the little ones will be here, but i trust the Lord has all these things in control.

Another day, another night, and another several. Still in the midst of hospital recovery and dealing with this sickness. Still our beautiful babies are thriving and growing. We are almost into our 13th week now so hopefully as we get closer Hol will get to feeling better. I for one and ready to get my princess back home, even of its on bed rest at home. This has been a difficult journey. The Lord has kept us in the Psalms and kept us through the darkness.

Avery is going to spend her last days at daycare a little early. I decided to take her out at the end of the week and have family watch her for the remainder of the pregnacy. This is a hard decision to make and I hope its the right one. I know family will take good care of her and she will still be learning a lot. With living on only my income and part of the short term disability we will make it the Lord always provides. He will walk us through all of this as He has in the past.

Adventures is a good title for this blog because they are going to get even more exciting once the twins get here. The baby girl has a name picked out, we still have not made a final boy name just yet. Still have our options and ideas for the name. We have so much to get done. Both cars to sell. A new mini van we are praying for and a new civic for Holly to drive to work. So yet there is plenty to do. All of this in in the hands of the Lord. We must trust Him and commit every moment to His hand.

As we push forward we will trust the Lord to provide. When the twins get here we will have our hands even more full. I do not know how, but the Lord will help us. I look forward to it. For now though I just pray for Holly to get better so we can get back to our home and press ahead.

Hospitals are not my favorite places to stay. As for us we have been at staying at one for the last several days. Holly's hyperemesis is really becoming a struggle for her, and the doctor is trying everything he can to help. We will probably be stuck here till she gets back to a healthy state and can eat and drink on her own. Most likely though she will remain on bed rest for several months. We still have six months before the babies are even due so there is a lot of time to just wait.

All of this hospital time has given me a lot of flashbacks to when Avery came into our world. Back then she was the one in the NICU being treated for complications with her breathing in some fluid on her way out. Her lungs got damaged but she healed quickly and was out in just five days. She was born Thursday the 19th and we went home the following Tuesday. I started this blog a few months before she was born so that is all in the history of 2006. Hopefully since we will have a C section these two will be born safe and healthy. The important thing right now is to get Holly healthy.

My little Avery knows there is babies in mommy but right now just wants mommy to feel better. She is excited, though i know she does not have it all down what kind of choas will be in store once they are here. I will most likely become a stay at home dad, or House Husband i prefer to call it. I have not figured out what i will do for extra income, but I am giving this all to the Lord at this point.

"How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 36:7

So we wait for now, praying Holly will get healthy again soon. Praying for success and overtime at work so we can take care of all the bills while Holly is off work. Getting excited and prepared for new little babies to enter our world again. Preparing Avery to be daddys little healper. So much in store for us. The best is yet to come.

Springtime is here which means warmer weather and a whole lot more outdoor activity! Also means lawn mowing but we do not really need to go there now. I do look forward to the fence getting up soon and getting out to enjoy the yard more. Seems like we really have not spent a lot of time out there, but it has been rather cold for a while. Least its changing. Avery is going to want to get that pool up too then.

I believe we are 12 weeks along and ever growing now. Well not obviously yet, but im sure in time. Just wish the sick part would be done with and energy would return. Look forward to these little babies in our lives. Still not sure what its going to look like when they get here, just trusting the Lord will provide and give us grace as we carry on to the next chapter of our lives.

Going to be one of those colder weekends again. Why does it seem like the first day of Spring is also the last snow fall of the winter season. Its almost like the cold weather just had to come back with one more punch to the stomach before warm air can start passing through. Guess we will make it. We always will because the Lord has not given up on this earth just yet no matter how messed up we have gotten.

We enter into another week of pregancy and get more excited as we get closer. Two little babies moving around, growing, ready to take on the world, starting with daddy i am sure. Avery will have her hands full with her little siblings. Sure going to be an adventure around here. I very much look forward to all of it. While looking ahead though its important to give everything to the Lord. He knows. It is easy to waste a lot of time worrying and trying to make things perfect. Just allow Him to direct our steps and He will get us where we need to be.

This weekend my hope is to get the big bed and dresser from the guest room and move them into Avery's room. I really need to get a garage sale going soon, so much to get rid of around here. Avery needs an upgrade into a big girl room so we can make room for the new babies. We are also having a fence put in in a few weeks to help us out this summer, we can finally get a pool! I am thrilled. Will need to remember to post some pics later.

You know its spring when you leave the house in three layers and come home in a t-shirt! At least that is how it seems to be with me. At least now than i am back in the shipping department I go outside less so get to enjoy more of the heat - which will be good for a few more months at least till summer time break. Ah then comes the joy of wearing shorts between memorial and labor day.

Owasso Fence is going to put in our fence, seems like they have the same price as everyone else, but at least i know the quality will be worth it. And we can enjoy the freedom of a fenced yard and get our pool up finally! Avery will be happy about that of course.

We have our old dell fixed finally thanks to the Geek Squad. They took care of the battery issue so now we can at least use this as a back up, yes i am typing on it now. Seems like everyone is over visiting, though Holly is asleep. Avery is running crazy. Still hard to believe i will really have two more of those little ones soon. Another good reason to have a backyard fence, it should help.

As i sit here in my living room I cannot help but be thankful for the Lord's blessings. Yes there have been hard times, and those times will continue on, but He still walks us through everything and loves us with an everlasting love. His grace is amazing.

As these little ones continue to grow and we get closer to d-day, i hope to post more to this blog. I really need to update more, seems like i need to do that a lot in life. For now - going to enjoy the evening.

March is here and its hard to believe the warm weather is on its way back. I do look forward to getting out more and enjoying being with my family outside. Of course there is the yard to take care of among other chores, but we wont worry about those till we have to. I figure if we just take one day at a time we will make it. Life is hard enough in the moment, and should be enjoyed one step at a time. So enjoy the moment, enjoy this time.

Nine week pregant wife at home and a screaming three year old. That is my current moment. It seems like I am aiding a wild child along with the two who are busy making mommy very sick all day long. Twins are not easy from day one apparently. I am wrapping up my final and project for my class tonight. We start a new one next week. ITT - It takes time. Good way to look at most things in life. Patience is the only way. Eventually this educational background will be helpful.

So what do we do now with a first trimester madness, and an Avery who is trying to be very dependent as she grows. I say grows but shes about the same size she was a year ago. Not sure when her next growth spurt will kick in, but it can hold out. She knows mommy has a baby inside her, and we pray for the two healthy ones. Little heart beaters :)

Searching for direction while trying to enjoy every moment. The next few years are going to be a challendge raising babies all over again. Need to start shopping for stuff soon I imagine. The Lord will provide. I am hoping He will help us through getting a fence up, buying some new cars, trying to put all of this together. Not to mention income, i wont because I trust the Lord will help me know what to do in this area as well.

So much ahead of us. Our little family is growing. Our lives are changing. But our God never changes. His ways are always good. He is Awesome and Mighty in all He does. And we will praise Him and let Him move mountians to give us His greatest blessings.

He bestows many blessings to His children. His faithfulness is complete and perfect. Since the beginning of Creation He knew the plans for each one of us. Our destiny is prewritten and He knows all which will come. So why do I struggle? Why do I have fear of what is to come when I know the Lord is faithful. He has always been so good to us in the past, so He will continue to be in the future. Feelings of sadness are normal after a family member comes for a visit. My sister spent the whole week here and it went by way to fast. I am mad at myself for not taking more time to spend with her. She did get a whole lot of love from Avery while she was here so that went well. Avery is getting so big, and her vocabulary is amazing. She also does tend to pick up on words like when Aunt Diane uses the terms “fricken cold.” And other such. She has learned however from school not to say stupid or other mean words, so it’s kind of funny to hear her talk. As far as the cold goes, we all hope it will go away soon. Spring would be nice so we can get back to getting outdoors and enjoying fresh air. Avery loves to play outside and I for one would enjoy getting out as well. Hopefully winter will not last much longer as we move into March next week.

When I consider how long we have prayed for and waited for a baby, the news of the new ones should not be a surprise. How could it be? Still there is that shock and awe which leaves us breathless and a tad bit nervous. But Pastor Don reminded me the Lord has a plan for His kingdom and needs them for it. And Avery will have her hands full, as will I and Holly.
My sister is pretty busy with her own twins, and my mom keeps helping her day after day. Wish we had someone here who could help us out in the same way. But really there is no one who can. Don’t know what we will do but the Lord does provide. Perhaps as it gets closer things will make more sense. Hopefully the morning sickness goes away soon too, I do not remember it being this hard with Avery.

Every day I pray and I wait, thanking the Lord for His blessing. Also asking Him for His guidance for the coming years, I pray. It is going to work out because the Lord is in control, and He knows. So hopefully we will get the help we need in return. And as we continue on He will strengthen us where and when we need Him.

Valentines day is here once again. Was a pretty good day overall. I gave my princess Holly a pearl necklace, earings, and ring.... she loved them. Avery got a toy hedgehog made from one of Hollys friends online. Its pretty adorable as well. My sister Diane came into town yesterday to spend the week here, wish I could take more time off this week to spend with her but guess it will still be good to see here when i get home.

Seems like we have all been tired around here lately. Holly has more reason then I though. Work is work, life is life, all things are still in the hand of the Lord. We cannot forget the works and blessings of the Lord come, and He is in control of all of them. This week will pass to quickly as they often do. Wish we could find a reason to move to California, especially after the winter we have had here this year. Its just been crazy.

Another night another class. This week seems to be going pretty well thus far. I know the Lord has been in control and very good at all times. Even when things are hard He is there. He holds great blessings for those who trust in Him. I look forward to getting home every day to my girls and my home. It may not be the home of my dreams, but I love my wonderful family and enjoy every moment I get to see them.

Valentines day is approaching soon, still thinking about gift ideas. We are going to a Casting Crowns concert the week before which should be fun. Hopefully the weather is not too bad by then. Right now they are saying a ice storm will be coming through this weekend. Never looking forward to that madness. So tired, i hope the night does not go much longer, I look forward to getting home to a hot bubble bath!

Trouble with school is you never know where its going to lead you. This is the case for my second time around at college life. Much like the first it involves a lot of hard work and dedication to the task. And i do enjoy the study, though it is as far from the Biblical studies at Life as i could imagine getting. ITT technical institute. So here I am ready to learn all i can about computer networking systems. Not sure if this will help my future goals and plans, and I kind of feel like i should have started sooner. Just was not sure what i wanted to do i suppose. Every other cater gory seemed pretty good, but I have a good time on computers and enjoy the inter workings. One thing is for sure the last thing i want is a call center job again, so free from that and happy to be... sometimes. Not the point now though.

Tonight i sit here for week five of Standards and Protocols of networks. Not such a bad class, the teacher is pretty good. And i cant argue with once a week. I hardly see how people can afford more than one class at a time. Still i guess they get aid... as for me i would rather avoid it when possible. I have to remind myself I am here because my BA in Pastoral Ministry has yielded zero job opportunities. As much as i long for the chance to be a Pastor or assistant to one, it must wait. I must give over my desires to the Lord.

I miss seeing my darling daugter but I know she will be awake and eager to see me when i get home. And its good for her and mommy to have some bonding time without me anyway, doesn't hurt. I am praying and hoping we will have some more little ones soon. We just have to trust the Lord on this, and hold fast in confidence. Then i will really be scrambling to find income supplements . But maybe by then things will be better at work, a night job might have to happen, but hey lots of people do it.

So on for another long night of studying and network stuff ahead. Tired and really not in the mood, but its school so I dont know if i ever would be.

Avery went to the doctor last night since she has not been feeling too well. She is 39pounds. She did a great job and followed the doctors orders completly. For the first time in her little life she was patient and behaved well, i was very impressed. Love her so much.

As Febuary approaches I continue to think about what is ahead of us with excitment.

Incredibly my online blog has become just about as scarce as my written journal. I have lately been doing better with my journal, only since learning how important it is to keep. My journals from 13 years have made it out of the dusty closet and into the hope chest. I am reading them to gain insight and understanding of what the Lord has been doing with my life. Its pretty fun actually going back and reading things from when I was in high school. I wrote a lot more often then, but had more time to do so I think. December 24th we got several inches of snow which finally melted away a couple days ago. So we have had snow around for a bit which is pretty fun. Don’t care so much to drive on it though, but otherwise good. Work has been keeping me busy, a lot of rushing around doing as much as I can with the time I have. Hopefully this year will be better for the company and in return better for me as well. I would like to keep growing. My Avon needs work too, I think if I put more effort into the task it would result in more, just have to wait and see. 2010 is a newyear and new hope. We have much to prepare for and much to do this year. Putting a fence in my yard is my main goal, so I can enjoy the yard more and enjoy my pool. Funny how putting a fence in would make you feel all the more secure, but I guess its about a boundary line. We are also attempting to have a baby this month which takes a lot of prayer. It is in the Lords hands now at this point, but I have a lot of hope for what is ahead of us. Avery needs a little sister or brother, or both. Either way she is ready. So we press ahead to what is ahead of us and pray each day for the Lord to bring His will and help us to trust in Him more.

Decebmer 28th got here in quite a hurry. Perhaps it heard Christmas was over and the roads are full of ice and snow so now is a good time to go back to work. Well everyone but me. This is the final fourlough week of the year meaning the plant is shut down for the week and we all remain unpaid and sitting at home making snowmen. At the beginning of the year someone remakarked 2009 would be the year from hell - now looking back i agree more so than i did before.

We cannot look ahead without looking back and learning from out mistakes and faults. Every trial, every accomplishment, every moment is preparing us for the next. If we do not learn from our mistakes and acheivements we lose the value and experience we could gain.

The year included a lot of false starts and set backs to plans. As i look back though even when the time was a struggle, there was always a provision to take us through to the next moment. We still end up on our feet by the end of the day because the Lord is the one in control. This world is in chaos, but He is always firm and in control.

We must look ahead with hope and trust into the new year, not fear, not doubt. Difficulties have been on the rise of course. Ecomominically, finaicially, spiritual darkness in ths world. I must trust the Lord with all my heard and trust not in my own understanding. 2010 will be a year to hope to rise back up from dissapointment. I decided to quit trying to sell Avon for one. They claim to be there and helpful when you need it but that didnt work out well. They also kept messing up the orders i put in, or putting things on back order constantly. So for now at least I am pulling out. Now i will concentrate more on school, on my Bible study, and on my family.

Christmas was another amazing time, busy, and enjoyable. We had a white Christmas, the snow is still very present for that matter. All is done and a whole house is left to be cleaned. Might also need to start purging some of these clothes and toys this kid never wears or plays with. So much to be said, we might need to do the old missionary clean sweep. You know like when you have to leave on a trip and can only take so much. We will see. So the year ahead we are praying for blessings, for things we did not get this year. With all the set backs we had we hope for even more doors to be open ahead of us in the time ahead.

Holidays are always a very busy time of year for all of us here in the Bowlby house! We spent a week during Thanksgiving in California with my parents which was a lot of fun. Now we are getting ready for Christmas with very much activity and excitment! This weekend we went to the light show at Rhema, and the Christmas Train. Got so much ahead of us this season, hopefully i will get a chance to update some more. Avery is talking up a storm these days.

Daddy is not much of a blogger these days, guess it comes from spending too much time fetching things around the house for the princess. Avery played the part of Dorthy for Halloween. She enjoyed filling her Mickey Mouse bucket up door to door, really got into the season this year. I look forward to getting down the tree in a few days so she can help us put it up. Can't believe its that time already.

Avery is a busy little three year old, still working on keeping us on our toes. Try to get her to sleep in her room which is not easy, she was spoiled from birth what can i say? Yes it was all daddy's fault.

We approach Thanksgiving now, looking forward to what is ahead. Grace and peace be with each moment.

Avery is turning three in just a couple weeks, that hardly seems possible. Just yesterday it seems i was trying to stuff her little legs into a pumpkin to get a good shot! She was not a fan of daddy’s crazy ideas so early on in her photo career. Now she is excited about the upcoming birthday and holidays. Even got a cute dress all ready to go, not quite as good as the one granny made for her birthday. Granny makes the greatest clothes for the little one.

Our new kitty B ella has managed already to get under our skin, the skin of our couch to be more exact. Claw marks abound but we still love the little rat, I mean cat. Too late to return the couch and really Avery is her best friend. Good to have a little adventure though, keeps us all on our toes, or tripping depending on where the cat is at any given moment.

We are both so busy with work its hard to get any time for much else, though we do get to enjoy the down time when its near. Weekends are even busier this time of year, and of course there is plenty of programs to enjoy on television. Avery enjoys her Curious George and Dora, and pretty much anything else. Avery is fond of NCIS too which she pronounces just as it looks, never could figure out why. She even bought daddy a NCIS hat for a birthday present to go along with mommy’s gift; an Ipod radio alarm clock.

Now Avery’s birthday approaches and we have so much to get ready for our little Veggie Tale party. My parents will be flying for the week too. This week I have been using my time productively and trying to stay away from the computer as much as possible to get more done. Seems like no matter how much I work at the ever growing mound more continues to appear. And I am talking house work here not my normal job. We are given this week off unpaid since there is not enough to get done for the time being. It will pick up soon. So my goals have been to clean the rooms and try to remove as much clutter as possible. Hard since I enjoy so much of what I own. But is it really being useful to me in a box hiding in the attic? So this week is my down week of busy house cleaning to do. Our energy bills will be more efficient now that our house is fully insulated. Only problem is I need to repaint a wall in the living room where a crack was left during the beginning stages of their work. I need to work on school stuff as well and really start putting more of an effort into my studies. Really would be helpful to apply what I am learning in the computer networking degree. I am tired of things not seeming to go the way we want them to go or plan. Seems like its been the same way for so long now. I hold onto the hope and seek the joy of the Lord in everything I do. Must continue to press into trusting, even when its hard.

Yes it has almost been nearly a month since I have written. Memories deserve more of my attention and always should be written down to remember. Guess I find trouble with my time management skills. This week will give me some since my company has given us all a week of furlough, while there is not enough work to be done. Hopefully enough orders start coming back in so we don’t have to take the on next month as well. Not that I mind too much on this end, I get to enjoy twittering around the house all week and running errands.
My latest side project has already begun in the form of selling Avon products. Reminds me I have much to do on the web training today. Its going alright so far since I just started, I guess it will be picking up as I go, just going to take some time to get out there. .. we also bought a new kitty and Avery named her Bella. She is a pretty black kitty who is going to get declawed today! Since we also bought a new couch we kind of want to protect it best we can at this point. Between Avery and the kitty we may be in trouble. And we got a recliner which I love sitting in, very nice chair. Life otherwise is pretty much going as it always has, fast and crazy as usual. But I really just like to focus on the immediate and what we are doing. So continue in your prayers for things to come, for God’s richest blessings to shower down in our time and desire. We seek His face.

Monday mornings come too quickly and weekends end leaving me wish there was just one more day. I will be happy though since i have work to attend to and things must get done. Since it was announced recently we are getting a week off unpaid next month, and again in Oct, along with the whole week for Thanksgiving. Going to make the Christmas budget a little tight once again this year. Still its better to be thankful in this world for blessings from God's hands.

Pastor Danny suggested I pick up this book called Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray. The man was a minister and writer a century ago. His book so far is of course very good and I am trying to grasp this whole topic for my own life. Of course i want my life to be surrendered over to God completly. He cannot use just half of me afterall, so the hard part is giving in fully. He has richly given us so much in this. We have a beautiful home which of course we are still trying to sell. We have a wonderful kid and still want more. Still thankful for all we have in this time. I know God has blessed us so much.

This point in the year all of my favorite fall decor beings to arrive in stores. We know my birthday and Averys are close. Hollys is close too since its in December. Now is when so much starts getting planned for our soon to be three year old and her Veggie tale party. Going to be quite a show. I have so much to do myself to get ready, but i will have some extra time on my hands to do so i gather.

We will sit back and press ahead then in prayer and faith knowing God is in control and will be watching over us at all times.

Honestly does it have to seem like it only gets hotter the longer you get through the day. It used to be when i lived in the Sunny land of CA, coolness happened about three and headed down hill from there. Now it just gets muggy and stays muggy. Its alright though compared to the icy winters we get so i wont complain about it too much. Actually i should complain because its better than i could be getting in most of the countries in this world with humid and non AC conditions. Happens. So here we are in the middle of the summer time and its just hot.

Avery likes the summer time as it means more Pool time fun and enjoying the long days. It is strange having it be so light outside when its so late in the day. Just dont get used to that. She is talking up a storm these days, this and that. She is a little bird chirping back to you whatever you say. Shes like that and its fun. And she is very sure of herself and helpful. She wants to do things her way or she is upset. So we do adjust and let her be a little grown up when she wants and a kid when she needs to be. Its all in the growing pains.

We are praying for wisdom in these days. Seems like we may never sell our house at this point, and part of me is beginning to think that is what God is wanting. Maybe we are better off staying with it and just adapting to the small room we have for our family. We do want to expand someday though, and hopefully start that process soon. So we seek God for all He wants.

Every day is busy and it seems to be only more so. Which is good the economy is getting better and this becomes obvious in our daily work. School is going alright for the moment as i am talking my final math class required. Just praying i make it out with a B. So far that is what i have so the idea is to hold it strong.

Going to wait and see what the Lord has ahead. Going to try pressing in and learning where we need to let go and what we need to live without. Hang in and hold on. Looking forward and trying to keep from looking back.

Hard to believe how fast the time goes before one realizes, hey i have not put anything down in my blog in a while....or about a month for matter. My journal is just about the same level of neglect. Guess that happens these days more so when i make the busy life patterns and forget to log them. We all have crazy lives, but i should really be posting. Summer time has been hot and been good mostly.

This past week was wonderful with my sister being in town. Avery has loved every minute of it and i am not looking forward to any goodbyes. Makes it pretty difficult and also makes me wish the Lord would just move us to California to be closer to my family out there. For now though we are here in Oklahoma waiting and wondering what He is doing. Honestly its hard to know. We still have a house on the market which honestly is driving me the most crazy. I Would just like to get rid of it and move onto something new in life.

Avery have been calling everything her own and Diane is the most of it right now. Its 'my diane' every moment of the day. Why not she loves her fun Aunt! Its great to see and i look forward to getting out there in the Fall to see her again. I am going to really miss her. But we had a great week, got a pool, played games. The pool is being a pain trying to find level ground on but otherwise fun when we do get it working. I had the week off which made it easier to have time to hang out.

Now we are still praying for new things to enter into our lives, special prayers for different things. Got to be honest its hard but I trust Him for everything. I want to give Holly every one of her hearts desires all the time. To make her happy and give her joy. So I pray this to the Lord, that He give her the desires of her heart and the desire of mine which is the same.

Sitting here this early thinking about all the Lord has done reminds me that I am His and have been a very selfish servant of His. I need His mercy and grace all the more because i cannot stand in His presence. He is way to Awesome. So i fall down before Him and seek His face. I do not know what is ahead of us but I trust Him. I seek Him to give us the desires of our heart.

Summer time is here in full force with a strong week of heat going well into the 100's. That whole idea bothers me all the more since i spend all day out in the heat or at least in a non air conditioned warehouse. For the most part its not so bad though since there is not as much direct sunlight. Many have it harder and this is only going to last a few months. I hope the heat doesnt last as long but we all knew it was going to happen eventually.

Fathers day was wonderful once again having my bride and baby girl there. Hopefully soon we will add to our little family as well. Going to be working on that soon. The day was good and it was really good to have my wife back from her trip to Branson. I am blessed by her in every way. Avery is growing so fast and taking so well now. She is very 'so it myself' among her other words. Just too precious.

You know i have never been too good with words, i write them better than i speak most of the time. I know i should never compare myself to others but it does happen, maybe its just an inner longing to use my degree in Bible and teach people. Going to be training a lot now. Being Tuesday here i am waiting for my 6pm class to get rolling, Math 2. Not my best subject but shouldnt be so bad. At least its a good start toward another degree. Though no matter what nothing can pull me from wht the Lord desires. Wish i knew all or more, but i can only trust.

Avery and I have the weekend all to ourselves. Of course she has daddy all to herself as well so that means the servant is very busy. Holly finally got out of the house for a vacation on her own with some good friends. I am glad they finally got to get away from all the hassels of work and family life. She really needed some time away. So while she is busy shopping away in Branson, I am here taking care of a very wild two year old while trying to keep things in order. House cleaning is a lot harder when i am not being helped. I also have learned Holly really does a lot around here, and helps a lot more with Avery than she really gets enough credit for. Have to kiss her for that one when she gets home. Tommrow. Father's day.

On duty for Sunday school I am tommrow. It is Fathers Day so i guess i cant back down on a bunch of little ones on the one day of the year they need a daddy the most. Okay every day is that day for the little ones.
[slight pause while i had to squash a spider. Hol would not have liked that one on being on the couch and all]

Avery is having to relearn all the swim school lessons and i am mad at myself for taking time off from them at this point. She is no where close to being comfortable in the pool. Got to work on it. This week we also made a difficult choice of getting rid of our real estate agent, three weeks before the contract was up anyway. He had gotten a second job a few months ago and never told us till we asked him about it. He hardly seemed as excited about the whole process of trying to it sold, to be honest i lost my respect and confidence in him. Now we are going to drop the price and do for sale by owner to see if we can get any hits. No rush so we just need to wait and see. Must hang on and trust God.

Since I was little I have had a very crazy imagination. This imagination was a perfect babysitter as I could entertain myself with a rock and stick for hours. I know this because my sisters and parents have told me that all my life. Now that I am 27 and still playing with ordinary objects while bored, I believe them.

My imagination has created many stories and adventures in my young adult life. Usually they were stories leading from day to day fun, and often they were acting out real life history. Since my young age I was dragged to church every Sunday. Week after week of Sunday school trying to memorize the same passages for so long and having no luck. My imagination couldn’t do it but that was okay for me. I did memorize some.

I learned about the creator of the universe and how He came to earth in human form to die on a cross for my sin. My sin would be any evil thought or action done that would violate the good, the pure, the right. I could not imagine how this could be so. But I believed it. I believed it because when I would sit alone and speak out my words of faith to the air. I felt comforted that I was not just talking to air but to God.

My church background has been various and multi denominational. I grew up in a atmosphere where the Pastor took the Bible seriously and believed everyone should know how to read and study the Word. Worship was always a good time for people to express their hearts before God and get ready for the sermon. There was never any jumping up and down in the aisles and doing cartwheels. Up until Jr. high the Church was good and conservative in their approach to Christian behavior.

From the middle of Jr. High on through into college I attended a Church called Water of Life. They came up with that name because most non-believers are turned off by the Church these days. They are also backed up by Jack Hayford and Dan Sneed, both strong leaders in the Foursquare faith. Water of Life taught me how to be real in worship and how to connect my heart to the living God who wanted more than just memorized songs. I began to lift up my hands in worship and even stand on my toes to get to the throne of Heaven. The Church itself is non-denominational and I would rather be known as a totally devoted follower of Christ than anything else.

When I changed churches (to Water of Life) I really began to grow closer in my walk with God. I would attend more prayer meetings and enjoy them more then before. I was getting used to the gifts of the Holy Spirit and learning more about the Bible every day I could. I believe that the gifts are given by the Spirit to be used by Him in our lives to bring Glory to God. There is no limit to the amount of Gifts the Spirit has or gives, but no one person will ever possess all the gifts all of the time.

I grew up on a radio series called Adventures in Odyssey with Focus on the Family. They along with other teachers and Pastors have disciple me from my youth. I credit Chuck Missler of Koinonia House, and Kay Arthur of Precept Ministries as well as my Pastor at Water of Life for much my education. When I moved to Water of Life I got involved in the High School youth group. I was one of those kids who sits on the curb reading or minding my own. I would sit at tables eating lunch trying to make friends and yeah I had a couple here and there. But no real good ones. I always thought back to my good friends from grade school and Jr. high school. I wished and prayed God would send me a best friend in high school.

I prayed every day throughout my freshmen year for a best friend. Soon the year ended and a new one started. I started journaling the first day of 10th grade, which I am very thankful I did. This is because I have record of God answering my prayers. In Tenth grade I met my best friend and still is my best friend. Jon came into my grade from a life of home schooling. Jon was always a very bright kid and also was unlike most kids; like me! I got along well with Jon and his brother Ben. They became my best friends throughout the rest of school. Ben was one year ahead of us so he had to graduate before us, which was fine since he was still around. We had all sorts of adventures together and marveled that God would put a “David” and “Jonathan” together. This is because of the two Bible Characters who had the greatest friendship known in the Old Testament. We as well were great friends.

I mention Jon because he is just one of the major things that prove God is working in my life. Another is my beautiful wife Holly! I had prayed for her for so long even before I knew who she was. Only God’s leading could have brought us together through the internet and chatting. We became friends and in December 17, 2001 I asked her to marry me. Our wedding was June 14th 2003, and with each passing day I love her more.

The Bible is the most influential I have ever read. It is also the only Book I will read more then once over and over again. Bible teachers have revealed so many amazing things found in the scripture that I desire to find them myself. It is a dream of mine to study ever word in the Scripture some day, and teach it to people. The Bible has the answers to life’s real questions and is always there when you really need it. Studying this Book should every Christian’s priority. I have a Christian background and a promising future with God in control. My life is in His hands and I will go where He leads me next. In May of 2005 I graduated with my BA in Pastoral Ministry and Bible from Life Pacific College in California.

On October 19th, 2006 our beautiful daughter Avery was born. Watching her grow brings so much joy to our lives. We continue toward what the Lord has in store for us knowing He has great plans. We will have ups and downs, better moments and worse moments, all in all we are together in this grand adventure of life. I am anxious to see what the Lord has waiting for me and my family.

Every day is something new with my little chatter box. She has all her favorite phrases and sentences down now. "Its not working", "I do it myself", "i find it", many many others. So cute. Growing too fast and still having trouble getting to bed when she is supposed to. Daddy spoils her too much, has since birth so that is the problem. She is just too used to sleeping with mommy and daddy now, makes for a hard night of sleep.

My latest favorite Novel is Riven by Jerry Jenkins. It has to be one of the best I have read in a very long time, no suprise he is the same author who brought to us Left Behind which was a key in bringing Holly and me together. This new piece shows an amazing picture of the love of God and the work of Christ in the way He has forgiven us. Also the way he suffered on the cross for our sins. Hard to really get a hold of the humanity of our Lord in all the pain and feelings he had. He still does for He is both God and Man.

The adventure countinues trying to sell our lovely home, seems like its been too long now. We have at least one interested person currently and we hope after today's showing, she makes an offer. Because i am getting really tired of trying to sell this house, but i know it is in the Lords hands. Now is a good time to get a new house so we got to hang on! The Lord is good we can trust Him now and for all things ahead.

Lately I am finding my study of Scriptures even more so is making its habitation into my daily life. It always has really but still. When i let my own devotional WOT time slip for a few days i am always feeling a little lost and when i come back it brings me life. So the Word truly does lift us up and give us so much. Truly, especially the book of Genesis and how it relates to well everything.

Avery is growing up too fast, i hardly can tell when i go to pick her up at school. Hard to believe and of course she is learning new words every day. Holly was on the treadmill and she shouts out dont run mommy, walk! We were doing potty time and chased a fly around the bathroom, we flushed it and she said no no fly bye bye. It was great. She has the sweetest little voice ever and is always coming up with things that blow me away.

Summer is approaching although you cant tell with all the rain we have had lately. I will say this though, i will be happy when i have less grass to mow. Hopefully that will be soon. We are waiting on someone to make an offer then we can finally move. We will be closer to work which is good and in a town with more to do. Not that i am opposed to small towns, but i am used to bigger ones from CA.

So for now we just sit and wait, thinking about what is ahead and looking forward to more to come. I dont know what it will look like, but we will keep going strong.

I really need to get a personal maid to pick up after me or at least type my blog updates for me. It can be rather hard to get around to even with all the time we devote to facebook chatting these days and mindless television programming. At least last week was good since my parents were in town unexpectely. My dad had work so it was nice for them to both come and hang out with us. We also did a bit of house hunting even though ours has not sold yet. Not sure what the problem is but we must learn to hang in there and trust in the Lord to provide.

Avery is impressing us more and more with her increased vocuabulary! She says dinners ready mommy, daddy where are we going, and all sorts of stuff. We have a little child in our midst. My dad enjoyed his stay with us but afterward bought me a book by James Dobson on raising a strong willed child. Its good so far, very helpful.

Work is good for both of us right now things are going well. The ecomony is still causing some trouble but i think we will make it through and as summer comes it will pick up. Which is good since we are going to try to have another baby this summer, so all should be very busy. Along with trying to sell the house very very busy.

Mothers day is drawing near so i need to make some good plans to take care of the mommy world, which reminds me i need to get the cards and get those ready to go. I really should learn not to wait till 10 at night to do everything i need to get done. Much too much trouble. So while i attempt to involve myself more and more it seems like its harder and harder. But the Lord seems to be telling me that i spend way to much time saying i cant when i really am saying i wont. So I need to do the things i know i need to do and not say otherwise. So that is the mystery of life. We fight on.