As a husband, father, and teacher I feel there is a lot to be said about reflecting on life's experiences. Through reflection we gain wisdom and growth. Keeping a journal and a blog are two ways I get to reflect and share insights and life with everyone.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Grams and ounces
Little Kenny likes to chew on his fingers when he is hungry, which is pretty much all the time he is awake. My sweet little boy… I cherish him so much. I always wondered what it would be like to have a son and what kind of things I would be able to do with him. Fishing, sports play, you name it. There are a lot of things me and Erin and Avery can do together, but father and sons have their own bond. I lean heavily on my relationship with my own dad as an example of what is ahead.
My dad has always been the greatest hero in my life. He is a great example to me on how not only to be a great father, but also to be a great husband. Little Kenneth’s middle name is Gregory, named after my dad. My only heartbreak is I live so far away from both my parents and it is going to be hard to not be closer when I need advice. Precious Erin is growing little by little as well. She may not be picking up quick as her brother, but she is getting there. She is a wild little child already, just like her big sister. Hard to believe she is almost three weeks old, but the time goes too fast at the same time. Every day we wait and wait hoping and trusting the Lord will take care of her and Kenneth. I know He will and does.Meanwhile the NICU is a pretty lonely place full of so many little babies in need of love and tender care. The nurses do a great job but it’s hard when there are not enough people out there to love the little ones. We are pretty much living at the hospital for now, as it is our home till our babies are out of there. Homes are not buildings of wood and concrete, but of hearts welded together with love.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Psalm 63:1-5
-David
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A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. Psalm 63:1-5
David wandered in the wilderness for a great deal of time during his life, between running from King Saul and later from his own family. We hear the term wilderness so much we forget what kind of bareness such a place would be like. David was in the midst of the hot sands, rocks, surrounded by death and extreme conditions. David knew fully what it felt like to be thirsty in a dry land.
“My God,” is the difference between relationship and religion. David did not just have an abstract knowledge of the Most High, God was not just a theory or idea or hope. In the barren wilderness God was all David had to cling too. His God was His very source of strength in the greatest of troubles. We see many times throughout the Psalms, David struggled with his thoughts and feelings but always clung to the trust He has in His Savior.
Our soul will find satisfaction in nothing else other than the life giving truth of the Lord. Even when life is at its darkest hours, God is the light. He does not expect us to slap on a happy face and go our merry way with joy. He does expect us to confront Him with our darkest fears so He can be the one to take them away. Commit your praise and lips to the Lord, and He will be the water you seek in the wilderness of this life.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Psalm 63:6-8
If it were not for the Lord and the strength He gives; none of us would be able to stand. This world is just too cruel, to harsh, to wicked to maintain any form of life. Thanks be to the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit we can have a renewed strength every morning to continue and press ahead. After all there are so many wonderful blessings.
Here I am in the midst of my Word of Truth, strudying through Psalms. The messags coming out of these chapters are some of the most comforting and powerful. King David was a mighty man of God. But it was never the wars he won which made him a warrior. (Okay i know that sounds like something Yoda says in Star Wars but its still true.) Anyway the man David was a man after the heart of God. He was genuine in His affections for the Lord. He was honest and real. He has been my favorite Bible hero and of course my namesake. While we deal with the dark clouds overhead as we wait for our babies to come home, I can put my heart into these Scriptures and know Jesus is there with them.
Weeks it will be though we do not know how many. Erin was at 3'2 and Kenneth 4'7 last we checked. So we just have to pray they keep gaining and pushing ahead. Little Avery can't wait to help mother her little siblings. She is going to be so much help. Sure its scary thinking about what is ahead, but great is our excitment and weak is our patience. Still the Lord is good. He is watching over them and we will continue to trust in Him. Best is yet to come.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Baby story in Holly's words
Thank you everyone for the congrats we are over the moon with our little blessings, they are just wonderful sorry it took so long to post. It has been a whirlwind since Monday when the twinkies arrived. The last couple weeks have been hard... Ive had a lot of contractions and they have been trying to stop it so we could make it a little further.On Sunday night I started bleeding a little so I knew it was going to be soon, the contractions kept getting closer together. Monday morning I went straight to the doctor at 7am and I was dilated to 2 and 70% effaced but contractions were still 10 min apart and the doctor told me to go home and lay around and see how it progressed, and by 10:30 they were about 5 to 6 min, so I called and he told me to go to the hospital and when I got there I was a 4 to a 5 dilated but they wanted to wait on the c-section as long as possible well throughout the day I just kept having contractions about the same time apart. By 10:00pm the bleeding picked up and when the nurse went to check me again, well... my water broke during the exam and it was end game but I was a 6 dilated. She called the doctor and he came right over but we had to wait for the anesthesiologist (sp?) b/c he was already in another C-Section, by 11:20pm when he came in my contractions were about 30 seconds apart and I was dilated to a 10 and needed to push so bad while I was in the OR waiting, no drugs is not the way I wanted to go, lol. The doctor was quick about the C-Section and Kenneth- 4lbs 3oz was born at 11:33pm and Erin- 3lbs 4oz was born at 11:34pm on 08/09/10 The neonatologists were there and ready to assess the situation they quickly wrapped them up, held them up to me for literally 1 second and placed them in the incubator and ran them up to the NICU. Originally they were on the C-Pap for oxygen but then went to high flow nose canulas (sp?) but as of this morning they both are off oxygen completely and on room air!! Erin has been doing really good overall except her feedings have been struggling and she is at 3lbs 1oz right now and Kenneth has been having a lot of Bradycardias where his heart rate drops but today they have slowed down and he weights 4lbs 3oz today. I know we have a long way to go, original estimate time coming home is mid September so we just wait and see since I know we will have ups and downs along this bumpy NICU road. Trying to stay positive but its been hard this week.I just wanted to let everyone know how thankful I am for the prayers
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Faith in the night seasons
When one must face difficultlies in life, and it seems like darkness is closing in, we are all to aware of our evergrowing dependence on God for strength. He is always our refuge, He is always our shelter. The Word is where we look for strength and hope in our time of need. Every day we gain more and more faith as we trust in Him.
Our precious babies continue to grow and strengthen daily, it seems hour by hour they change. Thursday the doctors decided rather too soon I feel, Holly was ready to go home. So now we begin the travel between the babies and our house which is not going to easy. We do not know how long they will be there, but we know they are getting what they need right now. Somehow the Lord knows what we need to, and for one thing it is to depend on Him with our greater need.
Kenneth is having a lot of heart issues where the rate drops suddenly then goes back up. His weight is hanging near the low 4 pound mark. Erin is eating a lot better now than in the beginning, she is a little fighter for sure. She likes to look around and keep up to date on what is going on. 3 pounds and 3 ounces last night was her weight.
Avery is being Avery as usual, much more wild these days. I have not figured out if is due to her being out of daycare or not. I hope she adjusts to being a stay at home child once the babies do get back home. We have known for a long time now the babies are going to need a lot of attention, our precious little ones.
It is hard on mommy and daddy to see them so small and in the NICU. We pray every day for their stength and growth and know this is just a season we must pass through. It may seem dark and cold, we will be weak and weary, but the Lord is good and will be with us to see us through to the next stage. So for now we press ahead each new day back and forth waiting for our precious babies to be well enough to come home.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Birth story
Monday August 9th Holly was driven to the hospital by her best friend Lindsey, as she was having a lot of contractions and pain. She arrived and got checked in for a long afternoon and evening of waiting and praying for our little ones. At lunch time i left work and rushed to the hospital to see my darling wife and look forward to the babies finally joining us.
A long afternoon into the evening went by. Plenty of visits from a few family and friends. Holly and the babies were approaching the time. Not evening a sign of the doctor. Patience. Finally they checked on her progress at 10pm and discovered she was ready, babies water had broken. Erin and Kenneth were ready to come into the world... only problem is we are doing a c-section... hang in there babies.
My mother in law and I got into our surgery gowns ready to go in with Holly and see the little ones come. What an amazing experience it was going into the busy surgery room, crowded with nurses and doctors for both babies, my little ones came into the world. First Kenneth at 11:33 coming in at 4'3. Erin second coming in at 11:34 and 3'4. Both tiny little babies. Cut the cords and ready for action. Babies went to the NICU for tender love and care. With all the rush we tried to get in and see them all at once as much as we could. Aunt Nicole, Aunt Beth, Pam, Holly's step brother Richard was even there visiting his own relatives on another floor. Crazy night. Erin and Kenneth have their own little room.
A very tired mommy and daddy went down to sleep in recovery. Precious Avery was with Aunt Lindsey and her kids so that was a blessing too. She did get to see them and wants so badly to hold them. None of us got too much sleep. Our little ones will be in the NICU for quite a while as they get stronger. Baby Erin Nicole needs to develop more on her eating, which is normal and expected. Baby Kenneth is doing well with his own food. So we can already see their little personalities as well. Most precious and adorable twins! To think their mommy and her twin Nicole were born at this hospital almost 29 years ago.
We do get to touch our little ones which is a blessing. Erin was the first one to poop so shes already competing with her brother. She is also waving her feet around in the air looking for his head to kick we assume...kind of cute. I awaite the progress as they grow stronger and look forward to them arriving into our arms. What a blessing the Lord God has given us in this time.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
32 weeks; and Ten Years
Holly is at 32 weeks now. She spent a couple more days at the hospital this past week and I know the hour is soon when we will have these twins. Kind of feels like it should be anyway, they have spent enough time baking as they call the process. Don't know what will come but the Lord does and He is in control of all things. So we push on and look forward to what is ahead of us.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Week 31 and the melting summer heat
Today is July 31st and the beginning of the 31st week of pregancy. At this point we are just counting each day as a blessing as every day is a day of growth for the little ones. They need to keep in mommy so they can build all the necessary body fat and strength to enter the world. God knows, and has His hand in their lives. He is in full control as crazy as it feels right now.
August will be here soon and its going to be a hot month to end the summer. I know how fast time goes, and soon enough the babies will be here. I just pray they do not come too early so they wont have to stay in the hospital too long. Praise the Lord for both little Erin and Kenneth. We are blessed and excited. A tad nervous too. Avery will be a load of help though with the little ones, she is going to make a great big sister. We are all home now and hopefully wont return to the hospital till we have to! We wait anxiously for the moment, but know there is much to do before they arrive.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Overwelming flow of life
My dad and sister Diane drove here from California last Tuesday, and are staying till Wednesday. So its been a tremendous time spending with them, and enjoying some of my family from Cali. They are not too fond of the heat though, neither have i ever been but you do get used to it after a while. Along with them came several bags full of baby clothes my other sister Laurie was done with using for her twin boys. So the last couple days have been spent going through clothes both those and Avery's old ones. We have them divided up now by age groups and put aside ready to go.
Avery loves having her Aunt Diane here. It is her favoraite time of year when she gets to see Diane. She has a pool time buddy now too which is great, when the pool is cool anyway. Keeping it cool in the Oklahoma weather can be a challendge. Avery is ready for her baby brother and sister to be here, im sure she is impatient as every. She has shown a lot of good practice on her little cousin Emery though. She will be ready, its just important she knows mommy and daddy cannot do this without her. And she will need to be our little helper!
Always makes me a little homesick for California when i see family. Somewhere along the line i would like to move back closer to the west coast. But they are talking about moving up to Orgeon possibly after 5 years, so we might just wait. No sense in moving twice. Might give us some time to get the little ones grown a little more. Avery will be almost ten! Yikes. The Lord knows, He has us here for His reasons and we can trust Him. Praise be to the Lord who brings each new day of grace to us. Ever flowing with His love.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Fire Works!
We had a cook out and friends for Church over. All in all a great night of fireworks and fun. Now today is another day off, and its pretty much just a lazy day. Stil so much to do as we prepare for our little babies.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Hey those things come with diaper bags honey
Anyone who knows me is going to know I love my little niece Madison like crazy, and my newest little niece is also growing on me as well, her name is Emery. Madison is getting so much older so quick these days, but since she was born in 99' i have known her pretty much her entire life. Emery was just born last Feb so shes pretty fresh and also very much a infant still. Infants who come with diaper bags, most of the time.
Yesterday was the first time we have been asked to pick little Emey up a daycare, which of course we do not mind doing. We have picked Madison up many times when she was little, and Avery gets picked up by grandma aka mimi, so we were willing to go for it. Emery is the daugther of Elizabeth, Pam's youngest daugther, and Holly's sister. So Uncle Dave went to get the baby and they did not give a diaper bag to send home with her. Emery gave me a huge smile when she saw me, she just knows her Uncle David loves her. So when i got home of course Holly took a look at the baby and smiled, then at me and said, "hey honey where is the diaper bag. These things come with diaper bags?" Yeah well they didnt give me one so i had to head back. Hard to imagine i would forget such a thing. But you know what, i have a lot in store of me with twins coming. Much to prepare for ahead.
Fireworks were purchased last night for a fun display time this evening in our yard, providing it quicks raining soon. Otherwise we will still have some fun. I am looking foward mostly to my sister and dad coming out to visit.
We will need two of pretty much everything with twins. One diaper bag will do, but its going to be a good little backpack system to carry along on our outings. Otherwise two cribs which we just bought. And we still need several things to do along with them for the babies. Someone gave us a nice diaper bag as a gift so that was awesome.
Friday, July 02, 2010
27th week has begun
Now we are moving into the 27th week of pregancy with our little twin twinkies. Hard to believe its really July! Though with the heat outside i can believe it more, reminds me i need to go clean the pool. Holly and her twin sister were born at 27 weeks, i just hope these two do not follow into that pattern. We want healthy babies as everyone does. Though no matter what the Lord has His hand in their lives and is watching over all little babies always.
We had a ultrasound appointment today and disovered one is behind the other, and also has his little head a little down. So hopefully they hang in there for another month. Still just keeping the bed rest going. As it is for now, going to enjoy the weekend, maybe shoot off some fireworks, and have some good family time.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
We finished putting up both cribs last night for the twins. Now the nursey is even closer, but still has much work to be done before i begin posting pictures too much. This old computer is having issues with carrying over pics and memory as well. Hopefully all things come together soon, as we will have two little newborns here soon. There is yet another miracle ready to come. I wonder if people said the same thing when Jesus was heading into a town. Here comes a miracle! Waiting is hard, but knowing there is something great to wait for is awesome!
June will be finished up today and July begins. From one month to another. We have so much to do this next month. But right now its good to remember to breath, take each moment and enjoy everything God has to offer in the day. To often the small things are taken for granite. Watching the precious little life struggle is a reminder to keep all things sacred. God has given us the moment, and in this moment we must live.
Friday, June 25, 2010
several weeks were the hardest of all. Than we moved into a short quiet time which was not so much quiet, but you know what bed rest feels like. Now its just a lot of babies making mommy ready. Both of the little ones like to move around in the womb when awake. Its one thing to see them kicking, and a whole other to feel them. Down right amazing. Avery likes to feel them too. They are her little babies as she says, she loves them and cannot wait to see them.
We took Avery to see Toy Story 3 last weekend, and it went pretty well. Except for the 3-d glasses not being all that exciting, the movie was very well done. Avery sat through the whole thing. We dont usually take her to movies as sitting through them can be difficult for her age. But she enjoyed.
It has been a hard, miserable week for my best friend Jon and his wife Jessica. Last week they had their second little girl. Her name is Rylee Ann. She has been in the NICU since birth with severe problems to her lungs and vitals. Much prayer is going to them now. Hard to see my friends going through this without being closer to lend all the hands i can. But I will pray and do so pray. I know little Rylee will pull through, the Lord will be with her. He is in control, just as He was with Avery when she was in the NICU too. I do pray the twins stay put till late Aug or even Sept to be safer for them. Just going to keep holding on to all the faith we have.
Monday, June 21, 2010
In the midst of all the excitment and anxious preparations for the babies, there is news of concern from California. Not just concern but critical condition. Jon, my best friend, and his wife Jessica had their little one last week. Little Rylee Ann was rushed to Loma Linda NICU upon arrival as her tiny body is not responding to life outside the womb. She is still in critical condition. We are praying hard for her little life. Its so hard to see all of this happening to my best friend miles away. The Lord is faithful and the Lord is good, and I know He has His hands on their lives. Nothing can happen without His will or allowance. So i pray glory will come from this and she will recover quickly. I shall report more soon.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Last monday we celebrated seven years of marriage. So many good memories as we look past the years. God has brought us through so much, and He will continue to bring us through even more. I am excited about the future ahead of us as we prepare for the twins arrival. So amazing just thinking of having more little ones here. Avery will make for a busy big sister. Not sure I am ready for sibling choas just yet.
My high school reunion last week went great, it was a treat to see some old friends and teachers. Ten years doesn't seem like it went by, but truly it has. Now we look to the next ten and onward to see what will be. God knows, and He is good. He has the plans for me all together perfect. He knows what area of ministry i should have and what i will be doing. All my prayers answered and unanswered are filtered through His hands. I have to do what is best for my family first, as they are my first ministry.
As head of the house hold my first duties are to keeping the Word of God moving through my family. I do need to do a better job with this and will be working on it. When the babies get here its going to be very busy around here, I will have my hands full. But I am very much looking forward to all.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
California is just like i remember, the air crisp and the traffic crazy. Do so enjoy the In-N-Out though among other things. Its good to be here, happy but sad since my girls are not with me to enjoy. I did enjoy meeting my nephews though. Nathan and Caleb, twins born to my sister Laurie last January. They are adorable and getting lots of pictures from their Uncle David. They are loaning their strollers, car seats, and a suitcase full of clothes to our twins. So thankful for my sister giving those to us. Going to make it so much easier.
We are still working on preparing for baby arrival and feels like there is still so much to get done. I have barely had time to work on much though. I need to get things cleared out and make room and ready for new babies. Not going to worry about it right this moment though. I am in CA, i am enjoying my parents house and sisters.
My 10 year high school reunion is today! Really hard to believe it has been this long already. I have been working on scanning some old pictures, looking through. Reminding myself with each memory how the Lord was holding me through and keeping me in waiting for my future bride. SO glad I waited like I did for her. There were plenty of girls i had crushes on here and there throughout the years, but the Lord knew better after all. He prepared me for my Holly, I love my girl of 7 years marriage now. Its actually been 10 years this August when i asked her out to date.
Meanwhile it is quite early, though about the normal time for me to wake up anyway. Going to need to see if i can either get back to sleep or busy myself with some study time. Will enjoy the rest of my trip and be ready to see my girls tommrow!
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Glee has ended for the season, a final song to lead out the enjoyable year of programs around here. Now its summer time and we have room to enjoy the heat, the pool, and hopefully two months left of pregancy. Those babies just need to stay put for a while longer. Right now they are about 1 pound and 3 ounces a piece which is the normal range for just one baby in the womb, so they are above the twins ratio. Baby Kenny likes to sleep and suck his thumbr, while Erin kicks her brother in the head and smiles. Ah children.
As the summer months are now in full swing, I already wish it were fall. Though fall means diapers... going to happen soon enough. Trusting the Lord for all things.
"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things." (Ecclesiastes 11:5) Going to hang onto that truth with all the Lord has ahead. In Him we have strength and hope.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Our Masterbedroom has moved into our guest room, and we are making the master the new nursey. It makes more sense in location in the house and size for two cribs and all. Walls are painted but not much else is done yet, we just have so much still needing to get in prepartion for the babies.
Avery is excited about her baby brother and sister and cannot wait to hold them and feed them and um change them.... not sure on the last one. But she talks to Erin and Kenny all the time and gives them kisses. She is also ready to teach them how to swim, which she is still working on herself. We have the above ground pool up now so we can enjoy some water fun this summer. Good distraction away from the TLC programs. But aside from Cake Boss, Ice Road Truckers, and Say yes to the dress, is there anything else on in the summer. Cant wait for NCIS and Glee to return this fall!